


Can't Help But Wantcha

by myrifique



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Multi, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-04
Updated: 2009-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-08 04:52:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrifique/pseuds/myrifique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When this blows up I'll probably go solo like Beyoncé did. A Subtle Sexuality fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Help But Wantcha

**Author's Note:**

> They don't belong to me, etc. Also, it seems that the only things I like about this show now aren't even on it, so thanks Mindy Kaling for creating Subtle Sexuality. A-apparently it made me think about makeouts a lot. Thanks also to gabsy for being awesome.

Sometimes Ryan misses New York so much that he feels a bit dizzy and needs to take a break from Scranton to hang out in his old places, even if it brings up bad memories after a while. Tonight was one of these nights, and on a whim, he decided to bring Kelly along. Just because it would help. It would help, right? It's not like he had ever thought about her, wasting away in New York clubs. So it'd be pretty different.

When he calls, she's having some kind of slumber party with Erin. He hears Sandra Bullock proposing to Ryan Reynolds in the background, at least until both Kellys' screams of excitement drown them. He didn't really plan on bringing Erin too, but whatever, they would probably get in the club more easily with two girls. Two pretty girls. Wait, what, he didn't think that. Whatever.

It takes the girls millions of hours to get ready, as usual. Ryan silently goes crazy, sprawled on Kelly's couch. Or he thinks he does. Because he should, or something. It's how normal guys react, right? And then they're super impressed when the girls come out all dolled out. Well, Ryan isn't. That's certainly not why he puts his hand on the small of Kelly's back when they go down the stairs to his car. It's just to hurry her along, okay.

"Did you put on eyeliner?" Erin asks, frowning.  
"Oh my God, Ryan, you did! You look soooooo hot! Did you use my eyeliner? You should really ask before you do that, you know, it's just considerate. But I don't care because you look amaaaaazing!"

He buckles his seat belt and tries to tell himself that at least, the night is certainly not going to look anything like his bad memories.

\---

They get into the club easily, as he thought. Kelly and Erin dance together, and take turns dancing with him, and he's actually having a pretty good time, if he doesn't think about it too much. There's a stunning blonde at the bar with boobs that point to the sky (how does that even work) and he's about to leave the girls to themselves when he hears something that stops him in his tracks.

He wonders if he's not actually bad-tripping once more when the speakers definitely blast out something about not returning texts and ADD and by then, Kelly is about to pass out of excitement. Erin is shouting something about knowing they'd make it, because Kelly is so talented, and he tries not to be impressed, but it's kind of hard. It's just that this club is pretty hot right now and he knows that pretty soon his voice is about to break out rapping and that these pretty people are going to _dance to it_. He'd say that the high he gets from that is better than any drug, but come on. Like he'd really say that.

The girls are trying to decide if they jump on stage while simultaneously singing their parts. (He's not impressed, definitely not. He's not.) Honestly, by now, he's getting pretty excited, so he guesses he shouldn't be too surprised at himself when he grabs both girls by the hand and they get up on a nearby table just as the chorus picks up again. Kelly grinds against him on the _You're my male prima donna line_ and they all dance in sync for Andy's part.

Then it's his turn and he gives this stupid rap everything he has, repeating his moves and noticing the blonde from before looking at him just before he throws his hat at her (he's so happy he went with the hat this week, instead of the glasses he tried out last time). He still winks at Kelly, though. He's not sure why, she's not even watching him, basking in the attention they're getting from the crowd (mostly raised eyebrows and pointing, if he's honest, but still, a few people are bumping their heads looking at them, and the dancing crowd didn't stop moving). God, this girl is going to be the end of him, he swears.

The rest of the song is a bit of a blur. He thinks a thousand things at the same time, how he wishes they had made the song way longer so this could go on forever, how he even kind of sort of wishes Andy was there for their stupid elevator routine, how Erin looks nice like that, dancing with all she has. When it finally does end, both girls scream "Thanks for playing our song!" to the DJ at the same time. Ryan doesn't point out the irony of Miley Cyrus coming out right when they're saying that. He's not even sure if that's really ironic. Anyway, for once, he doesn't feel like being that guy who rains on the parade. So, that's a new feeling.

They stay at the bar until it closes, electricity still coursing through their veins while they dance to every single song. The girls get drunk with colorful cocktails, as girls do, and they even make out to his wolf whistles. Somehow he doesn't even think about the other chicks around, he just feels elated to grab Kelly and make out with her like there's no tomorrow while Erin laughs and says stuff about their chemistry. It gets a little messy, the three of them dancing and touching and kissing - he thinks he kissed Erin, too, he's not sure. For a second it tasted more like oranges than Kelly's usual cherry lipgloss. It's a good mix.

\---

When the neons turn back on, they blink a little, sweaty and exhausted, all of them breathing hard. Ryan thinks briefly of asking the DJ where the hell he got their song, but he thinks better of it, not wanting to kill the magic when Erin takes his hand and asks what to do now.

They all end up back in the car, putting the song on repeat, at top volume. They're still excited, but kind of mellow at the same time, and it half feels like _Male Prima Donna_ is a love ballad, the way they react to it. He drives back to Scranton, and they all look at the highroad going by with eyes wide open. Kelly says "It was awesome" every two miles, and they both answer "Totally" before all going back to their silent wonderment.

Ryan drops off the girls at Kelly's place, since Erin was apparently already planning to spend the night. Erin gets out of the car but Kelly lingers, and when she kisses him he kind of feels like he wants to spend a whole eternity making out with her. (Of course he doesn't, that's stupid.) She invites him up and he's surprised how relieved that makes him feel, and they all tumble up the stairs, exhaustion and amazement leaking out of their pores.

"Guys, I'm sooo exhausted," Kelly announces, like any of them are feeling any different. "I'm gonna go straight to bed." Ryan spends half a second being disappointed before he sees Erin following her and are those Kelly's "I'm flirting" giggles he hears?

Now, Ryan had lived in New York for a year. He totally saw a lot of girls making out. In clubs. On beds. Everywhere. Especially on beds. He tries to remind himself that when Kelly's hand gets tangled up in Erin's hair, and when Erin makes a small noise that makes him forget she thinks he looks gay in his skinny tie. Kelly looks up at him, but not with that "Can you see how I like kissing someone else?" look she used to have with Darryl, just with a soft, inviting look. He tries to get a hold of himself when he slides behind her on the bed, tries to downplay how awesome this feels.

He kisses the back of Kelly's neck and unzips her dress, and in a instant she's naked between them, and he's cupping her breast while Erin starts kissing him. He wasn't wrong, she does taste like oranges, and he thinks _Finally, I'm nailing the receptionist_ for a wild second. Kelly turns to face him, and he groans when she slips her leg between his. She unbuttons his shirt quickly and kisses his chest, Erin softly caressing her back. They look like they've done this before and he gets even harder, thinking about them together like this. He grabs Erin's top and lifts it over her shoulders. Her hair pools around her face and she smiles at him, her skin looking amazing against Kelly's.

"Oh my God, you're beautiful," Kelly says, and he agrees. His heart hammers in his chest when Kelly starts kissing Erin again, unzipping her pants and removing her underwear in one swift motion. Kelly kisses her way down Erin's body, licking her breasts and belly and the inside of her thighs and he thinks he's going to burst out of his jeans when he realizes _Oh God, Kelly is going down on her_. Now, he's been on the receiving end of Kelly's oral talents before, and he thinks he might burst out of his jeans when Erin moans and he pretty much knows how she's feeling. He goes back to kiss her and she smiles, again, she's a very smiling person, he thinks, and then she moans again in his mouth and he's not thinking about much anything anymore. Her hand finds a way down his pants and he catches his breath, tangling his hand in Kelly's hair, wanting to feel them both here, with him, right now.

His fingers eventually slip down to Kelly's mouth, and he's touching Erin at the same time that she is, and she licks his fingers a little before he pushes them inside. Erin's moan is particularly loud at that, and he smirks because he is just that awesome. He does that trick that gets Kelly every time, and he feels Kelly working with him to get Erin off, and it's pretty awesome when she starts to vibrate under his hand and she breathes out both of their names.

Erin is breathing heavily, seemingly half asleep already, her toes a little curled. Kelly kisses her forehead with something like tenderness in her eyes, and he takes her in his arms for their usual, well-rehearsed dance. He enters her with kind of a sleepy determination, and when they come at the same time, he thinks _I love her_ but he chastens himself immediately. As usual. He rolls off, careful not to crush Erin in the process. He can barely keep his eyes open, even if he feels like he should be doing more, with _two girls in his bed_.

He's drifting off when Erin, who he was sure was asleep, murmurs "Hey guys, our song played in a New York club."

Kelly seems to perk up even in her sleepy state, and she starts to rat off all the things they're going to do, "it'll be so awesome, guys, I think we should make t-shirts, and I already have an in with this guy at Poor Richard's, we could tour the entire country, the entire world-"

"Sleep," Ryan says. Kelly seems to agree and happily buries her head in his neck, asleep before she even stops talking.

Tomorrow he'll deny it, but for now, okay, this is pretty nice.


End file.
